


Alive

by Awryen



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23980414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awryen/pseuds/Awryen
Summary: Ahsoka has many things to wade through. And Maul is there to help her.
Relationships: Darth Maul/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 12
Kudos: 128





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I am VERY nervous posting this. This is the first fic I've ever written that involves two established lore characters and I'm just...unsure if I got them right. But this whole scene wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> Also, Monday's episode will probably make this moot, but who cares?

Relief. It was a bittersweet feeling of relief, but one nonetheless.

In the last twenty four hours, her entire world; the entire galaxy had turned on its head. Ahsoka was still reeling from it all.

Her emotions and feelings from seeing Anakin and Obi-Wan once again along with everything she had just survived had been such a rollercoaster. She was trying to come to terms with them and it was proving difficult.

The Togruta had been happy, yes, to see her Masters, her _friends_ once again. It felt like a homecoming, even if it had been a little strained. Unfortunately, it had to be cut short. Mandalore had needed help and she’d volunteered when her own friends could not. She had only hoped that they would all be safe in those final few days of the war.

Ahsoka had been confident. Her victory on Mandalore felt good…but there had been an underlying foreboding growing within her. And she had no one to thank but the man she had been tasked to capture.

Lord Maul.

She had heard tales of him and of how extremely dangerous he was. Obi-Wan rarely sugarcoated his dealings with the half-insane Sith. But she had also been curious.

Her confrontation produced more and more conflicting emotions. Maul was definitely a ticking bomb, a blaster half-cocked. But she had sensed a genuine earnestness within him. As he warned her of this Darth Sidious’s plans for the fall of the Republic, she had felt very little of anything to dispute.

She wasn’t blind. The Dark Side had been growing and any Force Sensitive worth their salt could feel it. This is why she’d made her very first concession in helping Maul.

‘ _Stop looking at me like that,’_ she’d thought. Guilt lanced through her at the look of desperate hope that cut through his eyes. How could a man who had so much blood on his hands look so vulnerable?

_“He is the key to everything.”_

That’s what Maul had said. Anakin was the key to this Darth Sidious’s plans…and she couldn’t believe it. Not Anakin.

_Not her brother._

So Ahsoka withdrew her help and a spike of pain flashed through her when she saw the hope die in Maul’s eyes before they blazed in fury.

Their fight had been brutal. She’d been half convinced she wouldn’t survive it. Yes, she knew Obi-Wan had fought him many times and beat him, but she also knew her Master’s friend had been a full fledged Jedi Master. It made sense to her. But she’d never completed her training and had only what Anakin and Obi-Wan taught her in the midst of a war. It had to be enough, and she almost failed.

Maul’s own arrogance was what led to his defeat…and his screams.

_“YOU’RE ALL GOING TO_ BURN!! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! _YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE_ DOING!! _”_

Even now those haunting screams echoed through her mind. Abject terror had surrounded him and it made her think for but a moment if she’d made the wrong choice in not trusting him. But she had been resolute.

Anakin was _not_ the key. She had to believe that. For if she couldn’t, she had no idea what else to do, what else to believe in.

The hours after her victory had been growing more and more foreboding. Darkness was crawling in and she could feel Maul’s eyes upon her each time she passed his cage, but Ahsoka ignored him.

She and Rex had had their heart to heart on the bridge, both so tired and worn down from this harrowing war…then _IT_ happened.

Maul had been right.

Seeing Rex shaking, holding himself back as hard as he could from gunning her down had been _utterly heartbreaking._

Even now, twelve hours after the order had been given; she could see the horror in his eyes, the tears tracking down his face. Though he was fine now, it would haunt them both.

In those minutes after the Clones turned on her, she’d survived, but just barely. Ahsoka had to use the one person on the ship she was questioning in trusting to keep them at bay as she tried to save one of the very few people she cared about that was still with her.

Her success had been short lived. Rex had been forced to kill a handful of his brothers as she did her best to try and knock some of them out. They had been getting over run when Maul showed up and killed the last few that had been in the way. There were still Clones running around the ship, but in that section, they were either dead or unconscious.

“I can _help_ them. I know about the chips and where they are. We can _save_ a few them,” she’d said, her determination clear.

Maul had scoffed at her, but before he could say a scathing word, she had her blade sitting just under his chin.

“ _Quiet._ ”

Ahsoka was surprised when all he did was incline his head slightly at her and stepped back as she, Rex, and the droids began scanning for the live Clones. If they were on the verge of waking, the droids either shocked them back to unconsciousness, or she willed them to sleep with the Force.

The next few hours were tiring. Not all Clones had their chip in the same spot that Rex did and Ahsoka wondered if that had been intentional…for this very reason. But she didn’t dwell on it.

A total of fifteen Clones were now free of their inhibitors and the horrendous order that had been given. They were all exhausted and terrified at having nearly killed her. Ahsoka was still reeling, still feeling lives snuff out. Three in particular nearly sent her to the floor if Maul and Rex hadn’t been at her side. What surprised her was the near exact pain in Maul’s eyes.

A plan was quickly formed. They broke the ship off into sections and slowly made their way around to contain the Clones and start herding groups of them to the medbay. It was tricky work, but since Lord Maul had killed quite a few in his prowling on the ship much earlier, they didn’t have nearly as much resistance.

Half of the ship’s Clones died that day while the other half were forcefully subdued and had their chips surgically removed.

That was where they were now, completely exhausted; mentally, emotionally, and physically. And they were set adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

“Ahsoka.”

The togruta looked up at her friend and mentor. Rex gave her shoulder a squeeze before he broke all formalities and brought her into a bone crushing hug. Ahsoka’s eyes widened and she brought her own arms up and tight around his back as she buried her face into his armored shoulder.

“I’m _so sorry_ kid…”

“There’s _no need_ to apologize, Rex, “ she whispered, her voice watery as she kept her emotions tightly under her control, “You had _no choice_ and it _wasn’t your fault_. _It was none of your faults_. Whoever this Sidious is, that was his doing. I’m just glad you’re all _safe_.”

They kept the embrace for a moment longer before Ahsoka pulled back and gave him a sad smile, a few tears sliding her face. Rex gently wiped a thumb under her eyes.

“We’re gonna go get some rest,” he said before he narrowed his eyes at the quiet Sith behind them. “Do you need me and the boys to put him back…?”

Ahsoka turned to Maul, her gaze pensive as she assessed him. He was a threat, it was true…but she sensed no ill will towards her. He wouldn’t do anything to her, she was sure of it.

“…no. He can stay free. Besides…it…sounds as though there isn’t a _Republic_ to return to…” she said quietly, trailing off as Maul turned and walked off into the ship. She let him go.

“If you’re sure,” Rex said as he tiredly walked off, a few of his brothers following behind him.

Ahsoka stayed where she was, lost in thought.

The Dark Side was stifling. It was everywhere. Try as she might, she tried to reach out to Anakin and Obi-Wan, but she couldn’t feel them. Anakin was a void, a cloying void that worried her to no end where as Obi-Wan was just…quiet. She hoped that was him trying to stay hidden, but she couldn’t be sure and that scared her.

Reaching out more, she tried for Masters Plo Koon, Mace Windu, and Yoda. Two of the three were static silence and the last was similar to Obi-Wan. Her stomach dropped at the implication and her chin trembled as she fought the onslaught of emotions that crashed through her.

Master Plo was gone. And though she didn’t much care for Master Windu, it saddened her to no end that such a strong Jedi as him was more than likely dead.

Swallowing back the tide of despair, Ahsoka closed her eyes and concentrated on herself, centering her being in the Force. Its presence was still there, comforting, but muted. The light was surrounded by the dark and she felt so incredibly alone…

In the corner of her mind, she felt another presence, doing much the same as she was; only it was much darker than herself. But it was familiar…and strangely calm. Warm. The seething hate that usually followed this presence was muted, overlaid by their loneliness and despair.

Focusing on that presence, Ahsoka traced it to one of the crew quarters further back in the ship and opened her eyes. Maul was there and his presence was calling out to her.

Sighing in defeat, she gave into it, feeling the Force nudge her the slightest bit as she turned to leave the medbay. She left the Clones to themselves, those that had been injured were busy mending themselves and had left their commander to herself, understanding her need to distance herself in the wake of the their galaxy turning.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He could feel her, her turbulent presence like the surf upon the sand of his consciousness. He waited quietly, his eyes closed as he did his own meditating.

He’d been right. How he _hated_ being right. Usually he reveled in being one step ahead of others, but this time…

Maul growled and shook the feelings of rage away. He’d been too late. Even had Ahsoka Tano actually joined him there on Mandalore, _it would have been too late_. Sidious had his new apprentice and all was lost…

Everything was gone. The Jedi, the Republic, his family, everything. No, he didn’t love the Jedi, far from it…but this mass extinction was never what he wanted. And the deaths he could still feel would haunt even him.

“I have _questions_ and you have _answers_. I _expect_ to get them this time, Maul.”

He looked up and saw the younger woman standing before him. For a moment he was blinded by how radiant she was, in her righteous indignation, the simmering anger below the surface that she was barely keeping under control. But what drew him in more was the devastation in her being…it called out to him. Her Force bonds had been severed and she was drowning slowly in the creeping darkness.

“I gave you the _truth_ , Lady Tano. You _chose_ to ignore it,” he huffed, turning his yellow eyes away from her to glare at the wall ahead of him. He wouldn’t give her an inch this time.

“…you did. At least partially.”

He felt her move and sit down next to him on floor, being sure to keep from touching him. He silently sneered at that.

“Only _partially?_ Hmph. You listened to only what _you wanted to_. I told the truth, Lady Tano.”

“…you have to be lying about Anakin!” she said, desperation lacing her voice. He turned to look at her, his yellow eyes peering into her desperate blue ones. “Anakin…Anakin wouldn’t _ever_ fall! I…I have to _believe_ that…”

She frowned as she broke their eye contact, her knees coming up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them.

“…he’s probably one of the only family I have left…”

Maul turned away, his own heart constricting, much to his dismay. He understood that kind of desperation only too well.

“…what do you wish ask?” he inquired quietly.

They both sat in silence as she composed herself and Maul refused to disturb her process.

“Who… _who_ is Darth Sidious? You mentioned him before.”

Glancing at the togruta, he peered down at her. She’d laid her chin upon her knees, her eyes boring into the floor at their feet.

“…you _know_ who he is. Search your feelings. Look back over your many interactions when you were with Skywalker…you’ll _know_ the truth,” he murmured, reaching out to her to lightly brush his fingers down her cheek. Why he felt the need to do so, he refused to examine, but it felt…right.

Ahsoka shivered at the small touch, but she didn’t shy away from him. Glancing up at him, frowning slightly, she closed her eyes. Maul watched her as he felt her draw the Force around them, searching once again for lost connections as she sifted through her memories.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Memories flooded her. And they brought so much emotion with them. Happier times. Terrifying times. Times of regret and times of great sacrifice.

In the wake of Order Sixty-Six, she nearly succumbed to the wave of emotions coursing through her, but she held them back as best she could. Now was not the time to become overwhelmed. Not only did she need to figure this out, but Ahsoka refused to be seen as weak in front of Lord Maul.

Breathing deep, she began sifting through them.

“…Anakin…”

Her memories were strong here. The Malevolence. Their adventure on Mortis. Anakin defending her when the Council didn’t trust her. There were many, many more memories, but these were strong. Moving along she looked through them and focused on Obi-Wan.

“…Master Kenobi…”

She vaguely felt Maul twitch at the name, but paid it no mind. She knew their history was colorful.

Her memories were tainted slightly after her dealings with the Council, but she still felt affection for the older man…but once again, these were not what she was looking for. She _knew_ these two…

Memories of their time of Mortis came to her and she sifted through them…she remembered how much the Brother was always goading Anakin…and it made her uncomfortable. He’d been unnaturally drawn to Anakin and she began to wonder.

Shaking her head to clear her doubts, she continued.

Another presence began making itself known to her…a female presence. One she didn’t think of much before, but now that she was thinking about her…

“…Senator Amidala?”

Ahsoka frowned. More memories hit her, smaller details coming forward. She felt Maul lean in slightly, intrigued by her question.

Looks that had gone nearly unnoticed, slight touches. Touches that lasted much longer than was appropriate. Focusing on Padmé Amidala, Ahsoka reached out in the Force. Though the other woman wasn’t Force Sensitive, she was still a presence out there and one she was familiar with.

She felt unimaginable pain, sorrow, and betrayal. It hit her hard and she reeled from it. Her hands went to her forehead as she fought off the despair surrounding the older woman. But amidst the pain she felt…a twinge of light. Innocent and very familiar.

Ahsoka’s eyes opened in shock.

“It _can’t_ be…?!”

“What is it?” Maul asked, his gaze boring into her own as she struggled with her shock.

“…Anakin is a _father._ ”

“ _Hmph_. Why does that not seem to _surprise_ me? Both of them were _fools_ that way…” he muttered before focusing in on her. “What _else_ do you feel?”

Shaken, Ahsoka once again regained her focus and concentrated looking for more connections with her master. There were the droids, of course, and now that she knew about Padmé, C-3PO made more sense than he should have. That had been Senator Amidala’s personal protocol droid.

One more connection was making itself known…and it was bringing darkness with it. It was the one person she refused to think about, seeing as how he’d been fine with her being executed for a crime she didn’t commit. But she couldn’t deny his connections to Anakin.

Pulling the Force around her, Ahsoka sent her senses out, to the center point of the Republic, looking for Chancellor Palpatine.

The mass of oozing black hatred and smug satisfaction that hit her had her scrambling to breath.

Ahsoka’s eyes shot open as she stood up quickly, clawing at her throat. The darkness was so strong and she was drowning.

Her scream pierced the air.

“Lady Tano! AHSOKA!!”

A pair of strong hands grabbed her wrists, wresting them away from her skin, already raw from her nails scratching.

“Stop!! _Don’t_ go any deeper!! Come back. _Come back to me!!”_

Another dark presence descended upon her, but this one didn’t try to drown her. Instead it was a warm presence. That feeling on a cold night where her quarters were warm just enough to be comfortable as she stirred in the darkness. The kind of darkness that wasn’t threatening and felt like a blanket.

It confused her. For the being shielding her was none other than Lord Maul. And she knew how dangerous he was…how much hate he could wield. Anger.

Opening her eyes, Maul’s own yellow gaze was boring into hers, and she saw fear. Rage was also present, but not aimed at her. It was aimed at…

Ahsoka snarled.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maul found himself on the ground, pain lancing through his jaw. Pain then exploded in his temple, his chest. He was shocked at how quickly the younger woman had tackled him in her rage and grief.

“CHANCELLOR PALPATINE IS _DARTH SIDIOUS?!_ HOW COULD YOU!! HOW COULD YOU _NEVER_ WARN US!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO _FUCKING DRAMATIC!!_ _WE COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM!!”_

She was screaming at him, punching at him wildly. Some of her strikes made their marks and he had the busted lip to show for it, blood trickling down his temple from getting cut by her gauntlets. He snarled himself as he finally grabbed hold of her wrists and held her still.

Maul watched as she fought his grip, but in her fury, she didn’t think to use the Force to break his hold. She had tears racing down her cheeks as the wave of emotions that had been bubbling beneath the surface finally pushed their way through.

She was a sight to behold.

In her grief, he saw a raw beauty. Her pain spoke to his own. He held on as she continued to rage at him.

Ahsoka was right, of course. He’d had ample opportunity to warn them before hand, but he never did. _He_ had wanted to destroy Sidious…and he paid the price for it. _She paid the price for it._

Calming himself down from the rage at her audacity at striking him, he began to soothe her through the Force. When she sagged into him, her forehead resting against the flesh of his exposed chest, he loosened his grip on her wrists and moved his hands up slightly, to clasp her hands and place his thumbs against her palms before he began to rub circles into them.

The togruta was sobbing now, her tears pooling on his skin as he lifted his gaze to the nothingness of the ceiling above them.

_"Why did you let him win?"_

That one question hurt and he had no real answer to give her.

His own feelings were turbulent, but they were more familiar and more manageable. So, he became her rock, if only for the moment.

Minutes passed. Ahsoka hiccupped a few times has she exhausted herself. Maul continued to rub circles into her skin.

Looking down at the woman who had straddled him in her bid to cause him pain, he found her sleep, a line of stress still evident between her brows as she repositioned her head to lay her cheek against him.

Slowly, he unclasped her hands and brought his to rest at the small of her back, anchoring them both.

Maul closed his eyes, meditating as she slept.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later Ahsoka stirred. She felt like she’d been in one of Master Windu’s lightsaber training courses as she slowly opened her eyes. The room was blurry around her and she wondered why she’d fallen asleep on the floor.

She froze.

Lifting her head, blue eyes met two piercing yellow ones as she realized where she’d fallen sleep. And she felt his hands at the small of her back.

The pair of them laid stock still, both afraid to move and ruin whatever this moment was.

_‘…he helped me. He didn’t_ leave _me…’_

She hadn’t realized she’d moved until she noticed that she was now face to face with the older man. She’d slid up his body until she was nose to nose with him.

Her instincts were yelling at her to run, that this was a bad idea, but her battered heart...and the Force were urging her forward.

Leaning down, she brushed her lips across his, just the smallest of touches.

_Fire bloomed in her chest._

Ahsoka found herself sitting up in his lap as he’d swiftly sat up before crushing his own lips to hers. His tongue played at her lips, begging for entrance and she gave in. It swept through her mouth, leaving that trail of fire in its wake as she clutched at his clothing, her hands fisted in his open tunic. The taste of his blood was intoxicating as she swiped her own tongue across his battered lips.

Eventually they had to break for air and she placed her forehead against his, their breaths mingling for but a moment. He spoke, his voice a rough growl.

“You are not _yourself_ , Lady Tano. _Do you really want to do this?”_

Maul’s eyes had turned a darker golden hue, evidence of the lust pouring through him. Ahsoka searched her feelings. She was mentally drained, her emotional reserves were empty and she felt…so alone. She still wasn’t sure if Anakin had fallen or if he’d just died, but she knew for certain that Sidious was a grave threat and that things were never going to be the same. But at this moment? At this moment she was _certain._

She _wanted_ this. _She wanted him._ She wanted to feel alive again, if only for a while.

“ _Yes. I’m sure._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not write the smut, I haven't decided yet.


End file.
